Ever since G's marriage topic came up, ppl have been asking C (yes yes, C - no typo... u see, G and C are best buddies and close family friends... more like twins :) ) - some nudged her subtly - "ponne, ini nee than baaki"; "nee G oda friend thane? unaku eppo?"; bolder ones adviced "intha vayasula pannikama 30 vayasulaya pannika pore?"; the nosey ones - aka 'nalam virumbis' - went a step further "enna ma, yaarayavathu love panraiya??"
C's crime? - she is 26 (ofc she cant help aging every year), successful (read as well educated and employed, good looking, abundantly talented, very idealisticon, on her road to fame...), single (happily so :))! Now you know!
Me thinks, she – in her heart of hearts, has a notion that she would lose her independence after marriage… or may be she hasnt felt any need for a man in her life!
If you ask me (Thats the problem - nobody asks ME! :P ), whats wrong if she wants to stay single and independent…she might think marriage is a curtailment, of sorts and married women might think she is missing out on something big in life… The grass is always greener the other side ('this side', in this case)… As long as she is happy, what more can one possibly ask…
This question has always ravaged my 'not-so-informed' mind – why does the conscious decision of staying single (hey dont let imagination run wild - C hasn’t decided on anything; she is the Que sera sera gal :) these are just my deep-ramblings) prompt so many arguments and judgments??? Coming to think of it - does marriage matter much these days? Only in close knit societies like ours, which attach a pedestal-high importance to marriages and family, would a personal choice of this stature find many naysayers and critics.
But why oh why, should people - women, in particular - not stay single? They hardly have to make major compromises, in terms of career, actions, thought processes, sartorial statements, lifestyle, parents and siblings, finances; you can live life by your own terms… All the world’s your family… You can adopt lovable, adorable kids (though one might not be radical enough to become a biological parent, out of wedlock)!
And, on the contrary, what do these single people choose to compromise? The soothing company of a loving, non-judgmental, impartial, logical and feel-good confidante, play mate and companion (am not accounting for those unlucky married ones, who do not find even a single such characteristic in their life partner)… darling biological kids (lets discount the few who are not so blessed with this God’s own gift!!!)… an extended set of family, that’s ready to do anything for you (we shall again discount in laws who set the daughters-in-law aflame)... more importantly, solid company during their second childhood!!!
I cant unequivocally say family and matrimony are NOT hindrances to non-domestic success. They, of course, come with a lot more responsibility – a woman, for instance, has to take care of two families (her parents’ and her in laws, in addition to her immediate family!) And juggling a task as demanding as this, with careers/other creative pursuits, that are equally if not more demanding, is certainly a tight rope walk!!! Am sure there are scores of women who have done it – Ranjana Kumar, Margaret Alva, Sushma Swaraj, Indra Nooyi, Chanda Kocchar, P.T.Usha, Sharmila Tagore (Sudha Murthy gave up, by her own choice, what could have easily been a flourishing career, for the sake of family; so did Jaya Bachhan)… and there are quite a few who have done it the other way too – JJ, Padma Subramaniam, Rekha, Sushmita Sen (so far)…
Am I being shortsighted, when, from the bottom of my heart, I say, people can be happy – with or without their spouse (I cant and I don’t want to be… thats a different perspective)… after all, you cant miss what you haven’t had/known!!! Dint sanyasis and sadhus find peace and salvation without even a mere thought of matrimonial and domestic bliss?
I dont think am mature or enlightened enough to analyse and bisect the meaning, purpose, goal or objective of marriage... but what i do believe in is happiness! என் சிற்றறிவுக்கு எட்டிய வரை, all that matters at the end of the day, is what appeals to ones own heart – and shall most likely remain to appeal forever!!!
After all, doesnt happiness lies within oneself!!! If you knew of the Bushman tribe, you wouldn’t dispute it!!!
